Dating Advice, Relationships

The Secret to Keeping Him Committed, from a Guy’s Point of View

107 Comments 05 February 2013

Commitment_400Should we help him feel like a “conqueror”? Allowing men to take the lead sometimes helps men stay committed to the relationship. From  Death of the Cheating Man: What Every Woman Must Know about Men Who Stray.

Helping a man feel like a conqueror will help him want to stay committed. It may sound odd to women, but it can be easier than you may think.

Why do men love a “ride-or-die woman”? “She doesn’t get in the way,” one of my buddies told me about his wife. It’s true; she allows him to do the things that cause him to feel like a conqueror and that helps him to feel like she’s going to ride with him no matter what. When a man feels that he has this type of woman, he will go the extra mile to stay committed because he sees her as an asset to his life. And ladies, keep in mind that just because you are in a relationship, doesn’t mean that you’re an asset…many women become liabilities.

Men love to feel like a woman will do something out of her comfort zone for us. In other words, she’ll ride, no matter what. It’s all about the little things that help us keep our heads in the commitment.

For instance, a man wants to take on a task that you see is menial. If a woman makes him fight or justify it, then she may cause him to flee. Allowing him to do it without hassle, and trusting that he is a faithful man who simply needs to conquer something, will make all the difference in the world.

I’m not suggesting that women should give men whatever they want all the time, but it’s important for women to know that a man doesn’t always want what he’s asking for; he wants to know that his woman will ride with him if he asks. That makes him feel like a conqueror and that he has a ride-or-die type of woman.

It’s really that simple…the small things make a man feel like a king!

Little do most women know that a small task like pushing the elevator button can be important to a man. We have all been in the elevator when a little boy gets in and wants to push the elevator button and his mom lets him do it. What seems like such a menial thing to a woman can be a task of conquering for a man.

I used to have a girlfriend that battled me on simple issues like where we parked when we went somewhere. No matter where I wanted to park, she’d argue that we should park somewhere else. To her she had just as much right to pick the parking place as I did.

While she was in the right to voice her opinion about the parking decision, battling me over an issue where I needed to feel like a conqueror only served to cause me to try harder to conquer. So we’d argue back and forth and I’d park where I wanted to just to conquer, or I’d reluctantly give
in and flee. For a while I pleaded my case to her and tried to get her to understand that little things were important to me as a man. But she decided that it was more important to her that we were equal in all decisions and in the long run, our relationship was lost in her conquest.

However, my next girlfriend saw that this was important to me, so instead, she placed her concerns on making sure that we were always on time and as long as we were safe, she allowed me to choose the parking without hassle. Again, it may sound like no big deal to a woman, but making that small decision helped me to feel like I had conquered, and in return, I made sure I accommodated her desire to always be on time.

Those little nuances serve to remind a man how valuable a woman is in the moments where he may tire of commitment.

On a larger scale, the thing that most faithful men complain about is that they can’t get sex when they want it in a committed relationship. When a man is single or cheating, he can have sex at random or whenever he wants it. But when he’s in a committed relationship, his sexual fulfillment is based 100 percent on the clock of his woman.

As I said earlier what many women may not see is that for a faithful man, being committed to a relationship gives us a sense of entitlement to sex. If we can’t have it at our leisure, we feel rejected and no conqueror thinks he should ever be rejected. If it persists, we won’t cheat, but it can cause us to pull away from the commitment.

Ladies, I understand that men always want sex and that can be inconvenient for a woman. Some women complain that they love having sex with their man, but they can’t keep up with giving it the way a man needs it—all the time.

When a woman shows frustration, she can cause a man to feel that he isn’t welcome to have what he believes is his. Because he can’t take the cave man approach and drag her into his cave, he may retreat in frustration. This causes a lot of men to pull away over time and want to get out of the commitment where he is faced with such restriction.

Instead of completely turning him away, another approach is for a woman to negotiate without him knowing. Let him know that if he’s willing to wait until the more convenient time, he can have it the way he likes it. This helps him feel like he can have it if he wants, but that she will fulfill his larger desire if he nurtures her needs as well.

As women find themselves at these little crossroads every day in relationships with faithful men, they can keep us engaged in commitment by allowing us the small things that make us feel like conquerors. Remember, just because a guy doesn’t cheat, doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have all the desires of a conquering man.

If you help your man feel like a conqueror, then he’ll be less likely to stray and look for other places or things to conquer. So don’t underestimate the power of the small things. Remember that if it seems small to you, it’s probably big to him.

Death of the Cheating Man: What Every Woman Must Know about Men Who Stray

Death of the Cheating Man: What Every Woman Must Know about Men Who Stray

Maxwell Billieon and Ray J


Celebrity personality and multi-platinum artist Ray J became a household name as his public relationships with a bevy of beautiful Hollywood starlets made pop culture headlines all over the world. His playboy persona spawned the hit television shows, For the Love of Ray J, and the spin-off, Brandy & Ray J—A Family Business, adjoining his string of hit albums Raydiation and All I Feel. Ray J lives in Beverly Hills, California.

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107 Comments so far

  1. charmaine says:

    ha ha ha so yall believe that there are still non cheating partners out there? no men must just stop treating women like slaves…in a relationship we both share our goals and expectations during dates, why commit to me whilst knowing that you wanna change me?

    we just love turning a blind eye into a very simple things, actually we are ignorant!

  2. Sol says:

    ok, so what could I do if my man always want me to pick the stuff we should do, or buy or where to go, and even what to eat ?
    I dont see him trying to conquer anything cause he wants I choose all, I mean sometimes I would love he chooses some stuff at least..

  3. Cindy says:

    This is how I keep my man completely happy–I obey him most of the time, and when I don’t, he will punish me in whatever way he sees fit. No, he doesn’t abuse me! He owns my body, so I am available to him whenever, wherever, and however he wants me. In return I am treated like a queen and get everything my heart desires!

  4. Gwen says:

    I’m interested to hear what the men have to say about the article. If they truly feel this is an accurate description of what it takes to keep a man committed?

  5. sr234 says:

    Puleeze, men are never satisfied. They want to be waited on hand and foot. Been married 30 years and all he does is complain.

  6. michelle says:

    I believe there’s no manual to keep a man nor to make a man to b committed, its all up to him weather he wants to or not..u can love him, give him sex everyday if possible or whenever he wants it but still he will never b satisfied or b faithful,he can still cheat u can also find a man that u give some when u feel like n find the person being faithful to u,so like I said it’s all up to your man sex won’t make him committed.

  7. MoMan says:

    I am a faithful man, very good-looking (former model and athlete) and married. This article points out some important things actually. The small things that women do shows that she trust her man’s judgement, submits herself to his desires and wishes (not things that oppose God’s laws) and most importantly she sticks with him when things are not going so well. He will love her more and respect her for that. We are now talking about good men that don’t misuse power and authority. When a woman just relaxes herself and let the man take the lead she will be in a feminine state that will increase the attraction level. Even a man that is not so masculine and powerful will learn to be that way if you know the roleplay. If you want the attraction to last in your relationship I advice women to learn how to let go of control when you find a good and faithful man that deserves it. You will find more pleasure and happiness when you are in your natural feminine state.

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