One day, I realized that all of the effort spent trying to convince people to love me was not working. When I focus on what I think people are thinking of me, I am deluding myself and ignoring the love that is all around. Learn more about how to change your relationship and love yourself and those around you in I Hope I Screw This Up: How Falling in Love with Your Fears Can Change the World.
You are what you love, not what loves you
If my motive is to get something from someone, I’m sacrificing myself and doing everything I can to make sure that person will like me so I can get what I want. If I move from a place of “I am what I love,” I can go back to that effortless childhood place of what I actually am, which is total inner freedom, and I can transcend all of the stories I have about myself. Those stories don’t exist. When you were a kid you just did what you loved to do, no matter what anyone else thought of you. In that place, it doesn’t matter what someone else’s opinion of you is; you have something deeper that is moving you. That level of freedom is still available to all of us if we go back to doing what we love just because WE LOVE IT, not because we think we can GET LOVE from someone outside of ourselves.
Basically, you only care about what someone else thinks about you when you’re in your head, because that’s the only place an opinion exists. When you’re in your heart, you’re just creativity, love, and effortless expression. What people think about what you’re doing doesn’t even register.
Not that we don’t all want love. But it’s most important that you love yourself. When we lose sight of that, we begin needing more outside validation than we will ever attain. It works with body-image as well. You can learn to love your body by silencing your bitch brain.