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How Bethenny Frankel’s Place of Yes Can Change Your Life

When you come from a place of yes, you don’t wish something to happen. You make it happen. Learn more from TV star Bethenny Frankel, author of A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life.

A place of yes is not the power of positive thinking or the law of attraction. It’s not a “secret.” I understand the power of positive thinking and the law of attraction, and I believe in what those things are about. I agree that being positive and focusing your energy does attract good things to you, but not because of a mystical process involving some conscious universe that doles out the good and the bad according to who has the best attitude.

Thinking more positively changes how you relate to the world, but a place of yes is not some kind of mystical magical spiritual process where you just think something and it comes true. If you’re not the type to meditate or chant or visualize yourself richer and thinner for three hours every day, don’t sweat it. That’s just more pressure. It’s just one more thing you don’t have time to do. Coming from a place of yes is about getting right down to business. It’s active, not passive. Yes gives you something to do: a mission, a purpose, a goal.

If you don’t have an athletic bone in your body, coming from a place of yes is not going to make you an Olympian, just because you will it to be so. You are not going to turn into an Elle Macpherson look-alike just because you wish to be a supermodel. You aren’t going to become an astronaut if you aren’t willing to go through the training, if you have vertigo or bad vision. Coming from a place of yes is not going to give you naturally supple 34C breasts or your husband a twelve-inch penis. It’s definitely not going to bring Prince Charming on a white horse holding a sack of cash to your front door, just because you imagine it happening.

If you are a size 12, it’s not going to transform you into a size 0 by tomorrow (or ever, necessarily). But it can help you love your size 12 self, or inspire you to get down to a size that is more healthy for you. It’s not going to raise your IQ, fire your obnoxious boss, solve global warming, or “fix” your parents, but it can help ease your anxiety and obsession and self-destructive behavior that may stem from your feelings about any of those things. Coming from a place of yes will not make your crazy best friend suddenly see the light and stop choosing the wrong men — but it can help you stop choosing the wrong men. A place of yes has nothing to do with anybody else. It’s only about you.

When you choose yes, your whole attitude will change, no matter who you are. You can be a born optimist, pessimist, realist, anarchist, whatever, and still come from a place of yes. You can be a meditator, a yogi, a kick boxer, a triathlete, a couch potato, and still come from a place of yes. You can be sixteen or sixty-six years old and come from a place of yes. No matter what you’ve done or haven’t done or hate to admit you’ve done, you can come from a place of yes.

A place of yes is a way to get through things when you feel it is impossible to do so.

Your mind creates the landscape of your life. Your perceptions about everything that you’ve ever done and everything that has ever happened to you all come from your mind. Change your mind, and things change. However, coming from a place of yes goes a step further. You change your mind, and then you act on it. You don’t wait for someone or something else to do it for you. No excuses. No luck. No passing the buck.

A place of yes is about taking responsibility for moving forward, even if you have to climb over a mountain of obstacles. You are in charge, nobody else. A place of yes is your engine. Your energychanges, and people around you sense it. They want it to rub off on them, and it does. Incredible opportunities start happening and people start reacting differently to you. The world around you changes, not because the universe suddenly decides you are worthy, but because you change it. You stop being a victim and you start being the ruler of your own destiny. And that, my friend, is the point and purpose of coming from a place of yes.

The bottom line is that when you come from a place of yes, you don’t wish something to happen. You make it happen. You are driving. You don’t daydream in the passenger seat of life; you don’tover the work you need to do to somebody else and then sit back, waiting to reap rewards that never come. You don’t wait.

Instead, think about the things that you wish would happen to you in your life. Are you waiting for them to happen? Deep down, do you think they won’t happen? This can apply to anything — getting a job, finding love, losing weight, making more money, getting organized, making more time for family, whatever it is. How proactive are you being in reaching that desire?

Coming from a place of yes is hard work, but it’s the work of a lifetime, your lifetime.


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