We all face situations where we are overcome by shyness. First dates. Moving to a new place. Starting a new job. It’s completely normal to feel shy in these situations but we need to make sure it doesn’t get to the best of us. HOW TO OVERCOME SHYNESS explains a five-step program to help eliminate shyness, even when you’re stuck in the most uncomfortable situations.
- The situation. Think of a situation in which you feel fearful, uncomfortable, and timid. (We are going to go through several typical examples using the five-step program.)
- Notice the thoughts. Look for the negative self-talk that arises from the thought of being in the situation. Notice also the irrational thoughts and the worst-case scenario thoughts.
- Do I need to engage in this situation? Ask yourself if you need to do this. If the answer is “yes,” then you are going to give the reason why and then actually say “Silence!” to the fearful thoughts. And replace them with an I Choose statement.
- Talk back. Respond to the negative, self-defeating thoughts with the reasons why the irrational thoughts are not in your best interest and replace them with positive aspects of the situation.
- Visualize. The final step is to replace the negative scenario causing the fearful thoughts with a positive one using visualization and mental imagery.
Nervous about your first date? We’ve got all of your answers here.