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The Three C’s of a Relationship

Three things to consider when you begin dating someone, from Become Your Own Matchmaker by Patti Stanger, star of The Millionaire Matchmaker

Chemistry. Does he make your heart pound and your toes curl? When you’re alone in bed at night, do you replay all his tender touches, the words he used to make your heart melt? At the end of a date, do you want to rip his pants off and have your way with him right there on the doorstep? If, however, you don’t feel this way yet, don’t worry. Remember, women are like Crock-Pots, they heat up slowly, and men are like microwaves, instantly ready to go. As long as you think he’s cute and you have fun with him, he’s a contender.

Compatibility. How do you “roll” together? Are you comfortable with silence? Do you feel constant pressure to prove yourself to him, or does he make you feel like you’re perfect the way you are? Do you “get” each other? How do your energy levels match up? Do you love/hate the same things? Compatibility basically means that your routines mesh, you enjoy doing the same things, and you want the same things at the same time. For example, if you want kids and he doesn’t, you are NOT compatible.

Communication. Do you feel you can tell him anything, or do you have to watch what you say around him? How do you each express your emotions, wants, and needs, and are you comfortable talking about them? How do you argue? How do you settle disagreements? It’s not an issue of whether or not you have a difference of opinion, what’s important is how you resolve those differences. Consideration is the key to communication, because if you feel cherished, you’ll reward him with respect, and like Verizon, no one will ever have to ask, “Can you hear me now?”

To be honest, you’re lucky if he meets 51 percent, even a fraction more than half, of your needs in the Three C’s. Diversity in a relationship is good and healthy — it means you can each learn from the other. How boring would it be if your mate were exactly like you? It’s our differences that make us interesting, and often attract us to each other. Besides, he’s a man. He’s wired differently. He’s never going to be exactly like you. The Three C’s are simply something to consider during the first ninety days, in between the times you’re talking about him and dreaming about him.

Patti Stanger is the author of Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate (Copyright © 2009 by Patti Stanger) and the star and executive producer of her own television show, The Millionaire Matchmaker, on Bravo. Her wildly successful matchmaking efforts have been featured on E!, MTV, Dateline, Dr. Phil, Ellen, Tyra, NBC News, The Big Idea with Donnie Deutsch and numerous other television shows, as well as in Marie Claire, Elle, Glamour, the New York Times, Forbes, The National Enquirer, the Washington Post and many more.




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