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Should You Tell Your Friend if Her Boyfriend Is Cheating?

PensiveWoman_400You’re in a tough spot. Your gut instinct might be to stay out of it, but does that make you unfaithful as a friend? In Love Him or Leave Him, But Don’t Get Stuck with the Tab, I share what happened when a friend failed to warn me about my boyfriend’s cheating ways.

Dear Loni,

My friend posted an Instagram picture of herself with her new man enjoying a romantic weekend in Paris. The problem is, her new man is the same man my other good friend just started dating. These women don’t know each other, but I am friends with both of them. What should I do?

Stuck in the Middle

Dear Stuck,

Men are so sloppy. You’d think Loverboy would have enough sense to cover his damn face when he was being photographed while on a romantic excursion. But he didn’t, and now here you are, knowing way too much about his weekend activities. If these women were only casual friends of yours, I might tell you to keep your mouth shut and let the stilettos fall where they may. But since these are your real friends, you have a duty to pass on the information that can save both of them a lot of wasted time.

I remember once being in a similar situation with my friend Dawn. Dawn was my best friend at college. One night she and I went on a double date with our boyfriends Cheney and Roland. During dinner, my boyfriend, Cheney, left early announcing he had to go to work. Well, it turns out that Cheney had told Roland that he had another date later that night. He was double dipping! Roland told Dawn, and Dawn, not wanting to stir things up, chose not to tell me. Later she defended her actions by saying, “I knew you would find out sooner or later.” She was right. Eventually I did find out, but not before I had spent months dating a man who wasn’t worth my time. I told Dawn that she had let me down as a friend. This is a woman I would have shared my last piece of bacon with, and she didn’t even see fit to share this vital information. Best friends don’t let best friends date idiots.

Dawn should have told me about the date so I could stalk Cheney, see this other girl had nothing on me, and walk away with my pride intact. This is the American way. My friend was a traitor.


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