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Online Dating Blues? How to Avoid Disappointment

Date_400When it feels like you are encountering one bad online date after the next, keeping your motivation up seems impossible. Here are some easy tips to keep you encouraged so you can find your potential last first date. From Love at First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating.

• Pretty, pretty dater. With potentially millions of singles on a particular site—rather than, say, fifty people in a bar—being digitally dashing takes serious thought and effort. As a result, you may find yourself constantly worrying: Am I projecting the right image? What can I be doing better? What do people think when they see my profile?
Reality check: With the click of a mouse, you can change your online actions. This means that you’re more in control of your own dating destiny. Use it to your advantage.

• “Rejection.” With more singles logged on, there’s more potential, but there’s also more competition. You might be sending a lot of messages, but you won’t get a response to each one. So it’s easy to feel more down on yourself than you would other-wise.
Reality check: You’re reaching out more, so receiving fewer responses is natural. And your matches are making judgments based on a singular profile on a computer screen— so they cannot truly “reject” or “accept” until they meet you.

• Mr. or Ms. Wrong. A large user base on a site can also mean being contacted by all the wrong people. But seeing more and more matches enter your inbox that are not right for you can also take a toll on your heart.
Reality check: Sometimes simple shifts in your profile or preferences can keep these unsavory matches at bay. But just like at a bar, any member can approach you. If you’ve made some changes and you’re still getting negative matches in your inbox, stop fretting, and delete them. Whom you choose to message is way more important than those who come through your inbox unsolicited.

• Tick-tock. Sometimes online dating can be as time-consuming as a part-time job. When you’re proactive, you might get frustrated, feeling as if you’re spending more time than necessary to set up dates.
Reality check: If you meet The One online, it will all be worth it.


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