Dating is tough, especially for people who aren’t great at small talk. Although you can’t be prepared for every question that might be asked, don’t stress. Just be yourself and showcase your fabulous personality. Melissa Wadsworth, author of HOW TO MAKE SMALL TALK, shares the 4 P’s for successful dating.
The good thing about dating is that it plays out in a specific time and place that you have some control over. Whether you have been asked out or did the asking, be sure to supply your input about what activities you prefer and what time of the day you’d like to meet. This helps both parties start off under the best possible circumstances, and neither of you has to end up in an activity that makes you feel foolish. If you’re lucky, a date may tap into that mysterious intersection where hopes and desires meet up with fate. So take the time to set the scene.
Plan an activity that puts you at ease and consider some topics to discuss. A first date between one and two hours is enough time to get to know someone. Being comfortable in your selected situation should help you to be respectful of the other person for the duration—showing interest and being friendly.
You might want to discuss appropriate clothing if it’s not clearly obvious what the dress code will be. Bad breath can be a turnoff even before you get to turn-ons. And too much cologne or perfume reeks of trying too hard and can quite literally make you tough to get close to. Primping should extend to your living space if you’re having your date over to your place.
Project your true personality and interests in a sincere manner, while encouraging the other person to talk about himself by asking open-ended questions. How much is he willing to reveal about what matters to him? Does the answer seem sincere or what he thinks you want to hear? Balance your listening with talking and vice versa.
Promote yourself positively. What are your best qualities or talents? How would your best friend describe you? Keep your answers in mind as you interact, so that your nonverbal cues are positive and upbeat. Ask your date a question related to the quality you’d like to share. Then when it’s your turn to interject a comment you have the perfect opening.
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