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How Flirting Can Help You Date More Effectively

couple relationship therapy happinessSome people are natural-born flirts. For those who are not so lucky, flirting can be awkward and uncomfortable. Whether the dating game makes you nervous or you’re a pro, these tips will definitely help you score that second date. Andrea Miller, author of RADICAL ACCEPTANCE, shares how to flirt with finesse.

Note: Actively flirting with your husband or significant other is a big YES!

As Amanda Chatel reported on, “After conducting research regarding flirting in places where people go looking for love, psychologist Dr. Monica Moore found that ‘it’s not the most physically appealing people who get approached, but the ones who signal their availability and confidence through basic flirting techniques like eye contact and smiles.’ ”

I love this data because it places so much power in your hands, even if you weren’t born looking like Halle Berry. As we talk about again and again in this book, when you feel sexy, attractive, and desirable, this confidence is transmitted directly to your date. It’s all about how you speak and comport yourself. Amanda offers up several interesting facts about flirting. Here are my faves:

“Women who touch while flirting get more dates.” While men need to play it cool when it comes to this one, women who lay it on thick reel in the dates. There are three levels of touching: friendly  (shoulder push or tap); plausible deniability (touching around the shoulder, waist, or forearm); and nuclear, which is the face touch. When you can, without being creepy, go nuclear.

Is everyone taking notes?

“Angling your head can also determine how you come across.” Scientists at the University of Newcastle in Australia have found that you’re most alluring when you angle your head forward, so you’re forced to look ever-so-slightly upward. This creates a more feminine look, and we know how guys dig that. (Helen Fisher calls this the “copulatory gaze,” and notes how common this is in cultures across the globe.)

“It has amazing health benefits.” Weird, right? But those who get their flirt on and do so regularly are walking around with higher white-blood-cell counts, which means they’re really, really healthy.


Go forth and flirt with these additional tips.


Excerpted from Radical Acceptance by Andrea Miller. Copyright © 2017 by Andrea Miller. Used by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.


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