So the Super Bowl is less than a week away and many of you may be in a panic about watching it with your S.O. when you have NO knowledge about the sport. Well, lucky for you the Betches, authors of NICE IS JUST A PLACE IN FRANCE, have a guide to dealing with dating a guy who loves sports.
Pretending to know about sports is a cornerstone for dealing with the opposite sex. Bros like the idea that a girl has more going on in her head than clothes, this season’s Essie colors, and celebrity gossip. A good way to do this is by honing your ability to pretend to know about sports. Although we don’t give a shit about sports, guys seem to. And in order to run any machine, you should have some idea how it works. So why not just take the time to actually learn about sports? Because what goes on in the world of sports changes hourly, and much like the news, this does not mesh well with our attention disorders. The best way to go about learning something about sports is to memorize a few key facts, so you can seem like you know what’s going on. Just don’t ask anyone if there’s such a thing as a four-point conversion . . . we learned the hard way. Don’t get overwhelmed. You don’t have to know much.
Guys like girls because they bring a feminine touch to life. If he wants to have a heated debate about how good LeBron James is at basketball or who the greatest football player of all time is, he’ll turn to his bros, not to you. It’s important to know cute, little, slightly wrong facts. You don’t need an intense textbook of knowledge, because you have a vagina. Don’t ever forget that. And sports “scandals” are a gimme, because you will see them on E!
#1. Knowing how scores of various sports are distinguished: It’s important to understand the distinction between a goal, a home run, and a touchdown. You might not be invited to the next football tailgate after you exclaim that the quarterback just made a grand slam. And no, it is not okay to describe last night’s game as an “epic match of red versus blue.”
#2. Know when to jump on the team-bashing bandwagon: This obviously depends on where you’re from, and while betches generally don’t care who wins, we definitely want our side to win. After all, we’re the best, so our team should be champions.
#3. Loving your boyfriend’s favorite team and knowing his fantasy lineup: So when Aaron Rodgers gets 350 yards you’ll know your boyfriend’s in a good mood. A great time to suggest he take you out to sushi. Who’s Aaron Rodgers, you ask? Look it up. We did.
#4. You’ve gone too far if: You know more than six players on any given team, you DVR actual games to watch when no males are around, or you’re involved in intramural softball. Become too knowledgeable about sports and your strategy will backfire. Finally, the NAACP is not an extension of the NCAA. Confusing, we know.
Discover more tips on how to date in NICE IS JUST A PLACE IN FRANCE by The Betches!
For more on Tips on Life & Love: 3 Fashion Rules for A Baller First Date
Excerpted from Nice Is Just a Place In France by Betches. Copyright © 2013 by author. Used by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash.