We all have people in our lives who have disappointed us or who have let us down; people who have taken something from us or have left us feeling withered and broken. These people may have lied, cheated, hurt, abused, and caused a great deal of pain. These people may have caused you so much hurt that there is no possible way you could ever imagine forgiving them, let alone sending them loving energy. Often these situations haunt you for the rest of your life . . . unless you can find forgiveness inside of yourself.
“You practice forgiveness for two reasons: to let others know that you no longer wish to be in a state of hostility with them and to free yourself from the self-defeating energy of resentment. Send love in some form to those you feel have wronged you and notice how much better you feel.”
It’s time to look at forgiveness in a whole new light. It’s not about saying that what the person did was right, nor is forgiveness about condoning someone’s bad behavior. Forgiveness is about accepting events in a way that allows you to send love and healing to the person and the event so that you can move on. Let’s say a good friend lied to you. Obviously this would be painful because you considered the person to be someone you trusted and respected. Whether you choose to stay friends with this person or not is your choice, but either way you need to heal from the hurt. And the only way you can heal is through forgiveness. Even though you are not condoning the act, forgiving your friend is about accepting what happened in a way that allows you to let go of any pain or anger and move on without holding a grudge.
When you can find it in your heart to forgive, it also will be a lot easier for you to let go of the situation and to break any negative attachments to those involved. Finding forgiveness may be difficult at first, but if you simply open up some space to even consider forgiveness, then you’ve made a positive step. You may be surprised at just how healing even that small step can be. Perhaps consider for a moment how you may feel if you forgave yourself and others for all the things that you have been holding on to. Forgiveness is mostly about bringing you peace, because without forgiveness you may have great difficulty moving on and creating a life that allows you to trust others and yourself.
Try to open your mind to the idea forgiveness, however hard it may be, with The Case Against Forgetting to Forgive.