Slow down, you say? Yes, it’s possible with these charitable and de-stressing tips from Social Q’s: How to Survive the Quirks, Quandaries, and Quagmires of Today by Philip Galanes.

When you see an opportunity for slowing down during the holidays, grab it! If your shopping list is too long (or you’re invited to too many parties, or you’re actually contemplating two cross-country trips in the span of six weeks to accommodate family and friends), don’t!

Cut back instead. Sit down quietly and evaluate your holiday party and travel schedule, as well as your gifting program. Be honest with yourself: Is it really reasonable to push yourself as hard as you have been? And once you’ve decided, don’t be guilted into backing down. Remember: This is supposed to be fun!

I promise: A $100 gift, in your friends’ names—to the American Cancer Society or the Worldwide Orphans Foundation—creates far more good in the world than that Shetland sweater or those shearling slippers you were going to buy. (Plus, you can make the gift online in just a few minutes, leaving plenty of time for a relaxing shiatsu massage!)

So take it easy on yourself, okay?