Once you have children—if you are honest with yourself—you will see that your life has changed, and, like every other woman whose social life has been devastated by children, you’ve found it necessary to find new friends who are going through what you’re through. But just like with dating, when it comes to making friends, there are going to be qualities that you find to be a major turnoff. From Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic: And Other Opinions I Can’t Back Up With Facts.
You may spot these problems right away or a little too late, but either way, sometimes you just know it’s not going to work out. I asked my Facebook friends to tell me their mom-friend deal breakers and then had a good laugh at the responses:
One of my friends from school has a daughter named Jocelyn. The mom likes to pass out business cards that say “Jocelyn’s Mom” with her contact info on them for playdates. I think it’s super weird.
Dieting, fasting, weight-obsessed moms. I have girls, we eat cake.
Ones who act like the mean girls in high school. “Mean Women.” Is there a movie about that? Because there should be.
The one who disciplines your kid right in front of you, talks about how much her husband makes, and constantly talks about how advanced her kid is. And no I don’t believe for a second that her baby spoke at six months.
Gun owners. If my kid is going to be playing at their house, I don’t need that extra worry.
The ones who bring their husbands to every playdate, outing, or kids’ party. What is up with that?
The mom whose child you’ve picked up after school and had playdates with at your house for a year and has never returned the favor.
The ones who make those lunch box art-project meals. Like seriously?
Moms who are selling something constantly, e.g., Avon, Pampered Chef, candles, natural healing oils.
I had a mom friend tell me she didn’t believe in evolution. Evolution is my deal breaker.
Well my ex-best friend sexted my husband, so yeah, that was a deal breaker . . .
One mom I was friends with served breast milk cookies! I’m out.
I had someone stop talking to me for a bit because my daughter won a school election. She told me she “just needed some time.”