Relationship Success Only Comes after Breakup Failure

Andi Dorfman starred on season ten of The Bachelorette and was a finalist on season eighteen of The Bachelor.

HeartbrokenGirl_400Breaking up is never easy, but that feeling that you have failed is one of the worst parts. You know that did everything you could to make it work, and it still wasn’t enough. Of course you feel bad. But you have to remember that there is no success without failure, and you don’t have to beat yourself up about it. Read more in It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak Into Happily Never After.

You failed at choosing the right man, at making it work, at living happily ever after. I get it. I’ve never felt like such a failure in my entire life than I have during this breakup. I couldn’t make it work, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn’t be the person he wanted me to be, no matter how many concessions I made. I couldn’t be happy despite the privileged life I was getting to live. I failed at it all.

But why is “failure” such a bad word? Why do we put such negative emphasis on failing? It’s as if we are supposed to go through life having succeeded in everything we do. But the truth is, everyone fails! Nobody has the magic touch that turns everything to gold. I mean, think of all the successful people who have failed:

It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After

It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After

by Andi Dorfman

  • Get It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After
  • Get It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After
  • Get It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After
  • Get It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After
  • Get It’s Not Okay: Turning Heartbreak into Happily Never After

• Oprah: fired from her first television job
• Steven Spielberg: rejected by USC
• Thomas Edison: made 1,000+ light bulbs that didn’t work until one finally did
• Lady Gaga: dropped from her first record label
• Michael Jordan: cut from his high school basketball team
• Jennifer Lawrence: auditioned for Twilight and got rejected
• Bill Gates: dropped out of college

All of these people have one thing in common: they failed before they succeeded. I’m not saying you’re going to be the next Jennifer Lawrence or Bill Gates or Oprah, but if they can overcome their failures, so can you.

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